We all want to be happier. We all want to feel more content. We all want to enjoy our lives to the fullest. But do any of us really know what happy means? Do any of us know what it feels like to be really, truly, ridiculously and irrevocably happy? And not because of someone else or being in love, or having materialistic items… but just because we’re happy within ourselves?
How often can you say you have been truly truly happy? For me, it is only a number of times, and these times I truly cherish. These memories are what keep me pushing on, and keep me wanting to live, in search of a life where that feel-good feeling never goes away.
But happy isn’t fully understood in our culture anymore. It’s externalised. It isn’t about who we are, it’s about what we have. And this is our fatal error.
What has being happy and attaining this idealism become to us? Happy has become what we filter on to social media. It is what we hope our friends, and that stranger we don’t even remember we’re Facebook friends with, will ‘like’. Happy has become materialistic and happiness has become “I will be happy when…”, starting I will be happy when…I am in my new job, I have more “stuff”, I have a bigger house, I have more friends, I have more money etc. The list is never ending, and never really gets us to the end goal, as the next materialistic goal comes to light, and we aim for that to be happy. The minute we start to externalise, is the minute we rely on something, or someone, else to make us happy. And we shouldn’t. We should really focus on being truly happy alone, in our own skin, in our own minds.
What about if we stripped it back?
What about if we really thought about what happy is, does, and means?
What does happy mean to you?
Take out the “stuff” and the situational things like job and house. What does happy really mean?
How would you look if you were happy? How would you change?
What does it sound like. Doesn’t it sound great?
What does it look like? Draw it.
Most importantly, what does it feel like? How do you feel?
What would you need to change to get there? To true happiness? What would you need to shift in your current belief system?
And if you write this down, draw it and feel it, why aren’t you putting it into practice, letting it happen and working towards it?
We all deserve happiness, we just don’t know how to let it in.
- Open yourself up like a book
- Remind yourself you deserve to be happy
- Indulge yourself in things you love
- Remind yourself of all the things that you love about yourself
- Strip back material items and “stuff” – don’t rely on those things for happiness
- Use relaxation techniques
- Stop making no excuses – what is stopping you?
- Follow your dreams – what are your deepest dreams? Your aims and goals?
- Spend time in the company of like-minded people, and those who lift you up
- Make time for alone time – be comfortable in your own skin
- Speak to a therapist, not because you’re broken, but because you’re in search of happiness. 2 of the best therapists I’ve ever seen did not focus on the bad or the past, but upon the future and the present, and how to let the good in