This week, I’ve been in a good place. I’ve had the week off work, the weather has been good, and I have been able to have some quality alone time, rest, sleep and have listened to my body’s needs. I Have been thinking about how blessed I am to be right here, in this moment of my life, and how humbled I am by the experiences I have, and have to look forward to. I’m humbled because it hasn’t always been this way, and I know the struggle it has taken to get to a place of peace.
This post was going to originally be about what I would do if I could be reborn again, as a baby, and what I would change if I was given a second chance at the last 22 years of my life. Then I decided, when writing and considering this, that I wouldn’t want to go backwards. Life isn’t about moving backwards, it’s about progression and change and growth and learning.
So, instead of wishing to reverse time, I have decided to see this as my second chance at life. This moment right here. This moment of clarity, of peace, and of knowing. This moment of understanding and of gratitude. This moment is mine. My take two.
Today, as I stand in the best position mentally, and probably physically too, that I have been in for years upon years, I am in the best space to accept that this is the way my life should have been all along: easy, happy and exciting. The fact that it wasn’t always like this is just a chip in the sugar (ala Alan Bennett – if you haven’t read this play, please do!) – those memories don’t belong in my new reality. I don’t need to reverse time, because today is my fresh start. I have learnt from my past, but at is where it belongs, in the past!
I challenge myself to keep living the way I want to live, keep making choices that serve me well, keep doing what I love, spending time with those who make me happy, keep laughing, keep being healthy, and to keep building for an even brighter future.
Many people don’t get a second chance. Many people are so engulfed with depression and mental illness that they don’t make it through. That was nearly me…with the scars to show it. I won’t go back there again, and I won’t let it defeat me. This is my second chance, and I won’t waste it.