When I feel poorly or particularly down, which often come hand in hand, I begin to neglect myself.
- I can’t be bothered to do my hair nicely
- I wash it less than I should
- I whack on a bit of makeup, not really worrying about what it looks like
- I can’t be bothered to shave my legs
- When I’m poorly I can’t be bothered to get myself up and out of bed
- My bedroom is a mess
- My whole house is a mess actually
This pattern is neither making me feel more positive, nor is it making me feel better. However I find it so hard to motivate myself to bother. “Why bother?” is always my question. I need to bother is the answer. I need to take care of myself, and keep myself going. I need to push myself so that I don’t sink back into being in bed everyday, as I used to be. I need to put myself first.
I am fed up of putting myself second to, well I’m not really sure what I’m second to. I’m fed up of feeling like a slob, when actually that is nothing like me. I actually like to take care of myself, and to make an effort with my appearance. My head is clearer when my house is tidy, my bedroom is tidy and my car is clean.
I have to stop letting these things fall by the way side. When I do so, I am letting myself get more stressed and more down about my appearance.
Today, I am off work feeling categorically atrocious. I am not going to let this day be another slob-worthy day where I don’t move out of bed, and don’t achieve anything.
Today I have:
- Washed my hair
- Shaved my legs
- Tidied my room
- Printed out paperwork that I need to send off
- Binned all the crap from my car
- Painted my nails
- Put my hair in rollers for the first time ever (just to try it out)
- And bothered with my makeup
I still need to:
- Cook myself a healthy dinner
- Clean the rest of my house
- Get some fresh air, walk the dog and post my letter
Obviously I am still unwell, and won’t be skipping down the street and doing anything outrageous, but resting and keeping moving in equal measures, if not 70:30 resting, then I am taking care of my mental health and ensuring that I am not letting myself go, as it is often so tempting to do.
I will take care of myself, just as I deserve to be taken care of, and I will not neglect myself any longer.