First of all, id like you to listen to a song…
Colbie Caillat – Try
How much of that do you relate to?
I certainly put on an extra layer of makeup to make myself feel confident in front of others, and to some extent more attractive to men. I get my nails done to feel more girly and to look like I have money. I drive a nice car, to make people notice me. I straighten my hair to make myself look like I take good care of myself. I shop for clothes and accessories and expensive bags to complete the picture.
At the end of the day, I’m still me. I can dress myself up like a doll, wear clothes and drive a car that I can’t afford, and hair spray my hair so that it doesn’t move an inch, but I’m still me. I still have to look in the mirror and love myself, and at the end of the day, it’s not those things that I love. What I do love is my kindness, my intelligence, my smile, my loving nature, my passion, my inquisitive nature, my dreams, my strength and my will to carry on. I admire myself for all I have endured and continue to endure. And although I wouldn’t say I love myself, yet, I’m definitely working on it, and I’m a damn sight closer than I have been in the past.
It is so important to respect yourself, be who you are and like yourself, for who you are inside and not who you present to the world. We only really have ourselves, and we’re in our own heads 24/7, it is imperative that we have self love. To love who we are down to the core, down to our soup and our spirit. And to like who we are is to be at peace with it, and let the world see that. I have worked so hard to create an image to the world that just doesn’t reflect who I am.
What I do know though, is that I do like nice things. It is part of who I am. However these things, material, or the way I present myself, should be in addition to me just being me, not as a cover up for anything, or to gain the approval of others.
I don’t need to try so hard. Unless I’m trying for me, and in that case I can try until the cows come home. The most important thing is that I continue to learn to like me. So do you like you?